There's been a lot of introspective thought on my end over the last few weeks. The school year is winding down (I don't think I can manage one post w/o mentioning it... have you noticed?) and I want to have fun, but...
I feel like I never have any fun. uh oh. The first time I thought this I immediately wanted to swallow the words in efforts to hide them and make them disappear. If I say it aloud, it has to be true, right? Do I really want to be the person that's not having any fun? Well, it certainly doesn't make me feel good, but I think I need to own it.
This post had been rumbling in my mind for a few weeks now, and truthfully, there has been a lot happening in this ol' brain of mine recently. Lots of thoughts pertaining to where I am, where I want to be, and how gosh-darn overwhelming it all is. I really just want to wake up and life to be a'ok and 100% balanced between work and play.
But let's be real, that's not going to happen. The majority of my friends in this area have kids, which limits how often I can see them and how much future planning we need to do in order to hang out. I really love those people, but there is a side of me who wishes I had friends who could still meet up on a whim or be a little more flexible in making plans. As a result, it's pretty much just me and Cory most of the time, making our own fun.
Since Cory and I are both teachers, both incredibly involved in our schools, work is a priority these days. I like to be at work early (usually around 7:30 a.m.) to ensure I'm ready to go for the day, and Cory can't usually leave his school until 5 at the earliest. Since it's performance season (and he teaches at an art school), he didn't make it home before 9:30 p.m. last night. It's been pretty tough getting used to our new work schedules this school year. Unfortunately, I think I've hit the mark where I am absolutely working too much and not having enough fun.
Have you ever been there? What do you do once you hit that wall? Do you instantly plan a vacation or run outside and scream "SAVE ME!", because I think I'm on my way to doing one or both of those options!
I know I'm mostly documenting this moment for myself in efforts to give myself a pep talk. It's okay to feel like you're working too much, but as soon as you get there, you have to make some fun for yourself. You have to or the work won't be as meaningful in the long run.
And since it's only Tuesday evening, I have 3 more work days to daydream about what kind of fun I would like to get into this weekend. ;)
Thank you for reading my ramblings!