Where I've been...

 

I'm sure you've noticed the moment of silence in this neck of the woods. The last month and a half has been one big balancing act for me. I am officially overwhelmed with work at school--I teach 4 completely different classes in my day, and am currently getting ready to embark on reading 3 different novels at one time. For those of you who might be thinking, "Hm... 4 doesn't seem like that much?" I want to ensure you that the mental space and paperwork that go along with 4 preps is out-of-this-world exhausting. I'm doing a lot more school work at home and getting to school much earlier than I did last semester. I think I finally hit a groove with balancing the work load this week, so I can feel the waves starting to settle. I have had a student teacher with me since mid-January, which certainly lightened my work load, but I found that she needed a lot more coaching and guidance than what I was used to providing. It pushed me professionally as she experienced a myriad of ups and downs throughout her weeks. It definitely showed me what I need to do better next time I have a student teacher and how my expectations need to change for each student teacher I have. By no means was this a negative experience, but it was nothing like my experience with a student teacher last year--so I just wasn't prepared for what I was about to encounter. That's all.

Although work has been crazy recently, the biggest issue has been me dealing with a bout of depression, lack of motivation, and all around feeling of laziness. I have been feeling pretty down and uninspired, so much so that I haven't even touched a crochet hook since a few days before my last blog post (January!). There are a lot of days that I just want to sleep on the couch and stuff my face with Easter candy. There are days that I just cry a lot. There are days that I feel really lonely and really, desperately, wish I lived closer to my closest friends. There days that I get angry that I haven't made the time to fit my closest friends into my life more. I've had a lot of trouble feeling "ok" in my regular life. 

With all this being said, I have been making attempts at helping myself. I have been eating so much better recently than I have within the last few years. I have been making fruit parfaits from scratch for me and Cory every morning. The fruit has really helped me feel fresh for school. I have completely eliminated caffeine from my diet. More on that in another post. I have been sleeping more, in efforts of resting my body. Even though I never feel like I could sleep enough, I know it's helping at least in the smallest of ways. I have been forcing myself to speak up and do more things for me. This is the one I have been struggling the most with. Most days I just enjoy sitting in silence trolling around the internet, but I have been putting my laptop away and reading more, and that pleases me. 

I want need to exercise on a regular basis, and I'm hoping that now we're legitimately edging toward spring (instead of existing in the most pathetic winter ever) this will happen soon. 

As you can tell, a lot of my apathy toward life resulted in me staying away from the things that I used to really enjoy. I think the break from blogging and creating was good. I'm hoping to find my creative energy again. Hopefully sooner rather than later. For now, though, I'm just taking it one day at a time. 

I'm going to be pushing myself to post more frequently around here this week. I hope you'll continue to swing by so we can catch up with one another. It's been too long.

xo,
L